Dearest Wyatt, on Your Seventh Birthday

So I try and do this for my boys on their birthdays. I haven't managed to do one for every year, and some are to personal to share on my blog, but one day I hope to give them at least a small stack of letters when they are young men, and it's time for them to find their way in the world. This one is for my sweet Wyatt, on his seventh birthday. They are sometimes specific to what is going on in our lives and sometimes they are random. This one is a bit of both.

My dearest Wyatt. Today you turn seven. You are pretty excited about that fact. You get pretty excited about nearly anything these days. A few things about you. You are always trying to make us laugh. You grasp on humor will improve, I am sure, but currently you enjoy quoting cartoons to your dad and I and asking if what you have just quoted is funny. It's generally not, but I always answer you the same way. "Was it funny to you?" "Yes." "Then that is all that matters."

Your current interests are Mind Craft, video games, swimming with your mom or dad, hanging with your cousins, and any and everything your older brother is into.

You're going to be going into 1st grade this year. You're happy you get to walk home from school with Cohen and Reece, but not happy you will be in school all day. Sitting is not your favorite activity. You've learned a bunch in school this year. Your teacher really enjoyed having you in class, even though you asked to go to the bathroom 5 times every day. ;)

Some of my favorite things about you. Well you are so very polite, which you know is extremely important to me. You very rarely forget your manors and you are just a bad ass at showing appreciation for even the smallest things. I so hope you keep cultivating that quality. Your also a little love bug. You always remember to give your dad and I lots of love and hugs. It's pretty awesome.

A couple of things that I would love for you to work on. You fight with your older brother constantly. Yeah, that could stop any time. It would be great to see you grow closer to your younger brothers, but I know you will, so I am not worried about it. It would also be fab if you could clean up after yourself a bit better. Dishes in the sink, laundry in the hamper, bike not left in the yard, that kind of stuff. But again, we are working on it together, so I know you will have those skilled mastered, far before you read this letter.

Some mom advice for your future. I have a feeling you are going to be girl crazy far earlier then you need to be. Take your time with that. Be a very responsible boy, and don't be in a hurry. You want to grow up far to quickly, and no one will be able to convince you of this in your teen years, but it's the truth so I'm gonna say it anyway. Enjoy being a kid because it goes by in a flash. Don't rush life. Being a grown up is great. But being a kid can be just as great, if you stop long enough to enjoy it. But please do remember that just because you should enjoy your youth, that does not mean you shouldn't be responsible. Even now you can contribute great things to the world, even if they come in small packages. Keep being that kid who jumps up to help someone with something. Your "helpful spirit" is also a quality that should be cultivated. It's a beautiful thing to want to help others. It isn't natural for everyone (ie your big brother, but don't tell him I said that. ;)

I could be wrong about this one also, but I have a feeling out of all of you boys, you will be the one who will live here until your dad says it's time to move out. I am your mother so I would have happily kept you into your 30's, but dad is the boss, so any hurt feelings should be directed to him. ;)

You will know by now that your mom will do things that embarrass you. I will also have made rules you wont like, or feel are unfair. My intentions were always good. My rules were never arbitrary. They either served to keep you safe or teach you to be a functioning adult. I have always felt my job as your mom is to raise you and your brothers to go out into the world and be a contribution to it. Not a hindrance. Find a job you love (currently you want to be a pilot), or at least enjoy enough to do it your whole life, and work hard, but not to hard. Relaxation and work are both necessary to be happy and healthy.

One of the most important rules I try to follow in my life is "to treat others, as you wish to be treated." Following that one has always kept me happy, and makes me feel good about myself. I hope it makes you feel equally happy.

I hope the next year of your life is full of fun and adventure. Be safe, but not so safe you miss some wonderful opportunities. I love you like crazy dear Wyatt. Thank you for bringing me so much joy.

Mind Your Freakin' Manners

So I really try and teach my boys manners. They are super important to me. Doesn't mean they always remember their manners, but I figure if I stay on it for the next 18 years maybe they will be polite young men. I'm also really big on my boys treating ladies like ladies. The 'ladies first' mentality has changed some I think over the years. Party do to people just not having the manners that they should but I also think sometimes in our effort to strive for equality that some men are treading so carefully to treat woman equally they aren't really sure if a "Ladies first" is still PC. Well I can't speak for anyone but me, but I am a lady. I am feminine. I am soft hearted. I am very much different from a man so I truly appreciate being treated like I matter. Holding a door for me, offering to carry something heavy I may be struggling with, and pulling out my chair are all things that make me feel special.

Now the great thing about the world is that 'It takes all kinds'. Because it is important to me doesn't mean it is to the lady in front of me at the grocery store. And that is absolutely OK. But to the male of the species please don't assume we are all like the one lady in front of me in line. Your safer being polite to everyone. If someone gets bent because you held a door for them they are either having a crappy day or they are really grumpy in general. The thing is men, a small jester goes a long way. Besides the fact that your putting good Karma out there, your also increasing your chances of changing your life forever. I call this manners math. You may laugh, but this could be you. So your not married, or dating anyone. You headed into your local Target for a t-shirt and shaving cream and as you enter the store a woman twice your age, or a woman not your type, or a woman half your age etc, etc, etc approaches the store door at the same time as you. Because your not an ass, and your Momma raised you right you pull the door open and say "Ladies first." She thanks you and as she walks through the door makes eye contact with a very beautiful, same age-ish as you, totally your type girl who yells "Mom over here." Daughter (or sister or mother or whoever it may be) walks over to you and her mother and the rest could be history. Don't knock it. You really never know when your gonna meet Mrs Foreverafter. It could be that very moment and if you hadn't held the door you would have walk past the perfect woman, never having a chance to strike up a conversation, never even knowing you missed out big time.

This is also an extremely affective way to make your wife or girlfriend a very happy camper. I don't think men really understand what a small jester of thoughtfulness can do for the mother of their children. OK, maybe some do, but I'd say the percentage is small. It doesn't take much. When you know she pulled in the driveway with grocery, get your ass up and run out there and help her bring them in. Switch the laundry if your near the machine. Call on the way home from work and see if she needs anything from the store. You'll increase your chances of getting laid 10 fold.

So back to me teaching my boys to treat woman like the wonderful, amazing beings that they are. I'm home a lot with my kids. Going shopping or running errands with small boys is not a ton of fun. So since the twins don't go to school yet and socialize around other girls, they are stuck with Mom being 'the girl'. If we pass each other and one of us needs to move to the side I say "Can Momma go first please. Remember 'ladies first.'" If we are getting ready to leave the house I've taught the boys to stand to the side of the stairs so Mom can go down them first. (This actually has a few reasons I do it. Manners yes, but it also allows me to beat them to the car and get their doors open so they can climb in with out getting distracted and running off into the yard or road.) I always say ladies first please. So today as we were leaving the house My son Bodhi stood to the side and said proudly Ladies and Mommies first!" By the time he is grown maybe he will understand that Mommy is a lady too.

What I beleive to be true

You know how Oprah always said "What I know for sure...."? I remember thinking when I heard that there just wasn't much that any of us can really know for sure, right? I feel like in the last 12 years of my "adult" life that what I thought I knew, or believed or perceived has changed over and over. I think this is part of growing and trying to remain open minded. But at this time, about 10 or so days before my birthday, I want my kids to know what I believe to be true, important, and unimportant all at once. These are all just my perceptions mixed with my goofy humor. So here it goes..........

What I believe to be true is that life is fast, sometime difficult, sometimes depressing, but mostly rewarding. I believe that being a parent is the most mentally exhausting thing a person will ever do. I believe mistakes are inevitable, but it is never to late to apologizes when we make them. I believe that kids grow up WAY to fast and that for some reason so many parents seem to want to encourage this pace. Enjoy being a kid because like life, if you blink it will be over. I believe in free will. That all actions have consequences and some can follow you for the rest of your life, but 99% are complete reversible so be careful in your choices but don't let fear keep you from taking risks. I believe in humor. Laughter really is the best medicine. I believe in monogamy, and that intimacy should be between two completely committed people who love each other deeply. I realize this is an old fashion idea for most but I believe it safest for heart, mind and body. I believe in romance. I believe in never going to bed when your mad at someone and never allowing them to go to bed when they are mad at you. I believe dancing in your living room to good loud rock music can change your whole perspective. It's like vitamin D for the ears and sole!! I believe every child should go to bed in a warm home, with a full tummy feeling safe and loved no matter where in this great big world they were born!! I believe in possibility even though I sometime forget to believe in my own. I believe that great teachers save kids lives and deserve more of our appreciation, credit, and MONEY!!! I believe every rose does indeed have it's thorn, and every day has it's dawn but I'm not sure I believe that every cowboy sings a sad sad song.I believe dogs are better then cats (sorry to all my cat friends.) I believe football is better the baseball, summer, better then winter, but snow is better then rain. I believe it is very likely that I will always suck at proper punctuation, grammar and spelling but that most of my friends will love me despite this and read my weird blog post regardless. I believe that judging others is the greatest sin we can commit but it is also the easiest trap to fall into. I believe in the potential of my children. I believe I found true love, even when he leaves his dirty laundry on the bathroom floor or his used floss in the sofa table (that one really makes me crazy!! ;) I believe in an open heart, a giving spirit, and that we as humans have to stop looking at the worlds population like an accountant for a large corporation looks at employees. People are not numbers, and if you were looking at someone you knew, that you loved right in the face that needed your help in some small way could you really throw them out in the cold, hungry and with a armed gunman running around. Because that's what it feels like so many of us are doing. It's just easier because you don't have to look that human being in the face to tell them you sorry but you just don't care that much. I believe we can be better, we want to be better and we either will be or we wont be around much longer.

I realize this is all just the rants of a housewife with wicked insomnia, a wild imagination, and dreams of her children having a fulfilling, happy life but that sure wont shut me up any time soon!! Agree or not, I hope it will make you think about what is important to you. And this song has literally nothing to do with my above rants but I believe it to be awesome!!!

Bodhi's Got Moves like Jagger

Haven't had much time to blog lately so here is a short video of the Bodh-ster. I have been trying to get Bodhi's cute dance moves on video since he was about 9 months old. He has always loved to dance to any kind of music. He really loves this Black Keys song. He moves are so much more impressive but as soon as the camera starts he gets a bit more mellow and distracted by it. Hope you enjoy.

Cohen, the great, the kind, the optimistic!

I had an idea recently to start writing the boys a letter each year on their birthday. I plan on saving them all up and giving them all their letters when they graduate or something like that! I wish I had thought of doing this earlier but better late then never. I wanted to share Cohen's first letter with all of you because on this day 8 years ago I became a mother. Hope you enjoy reading what I think makes my son so special.

Eight years ago today I was given a gift so special, so precious and so loved beyond what you feel love can be. Today my sweet gift, you are 8 years old. You have proven to be so much more then I could even dream. So I want to tell you about who you are right now so that when you are older and life has carved you out and left you with dents and dings you can read this and find the pieces of you that you may have lost. You are such an amazing boy. You are smart, hard working. You have an abundance of kindness and caring that makes me so incredibly proud. You teacher says you are one of her easiest students in her class. What a gigantic help you are to me with your little brothers. You always clean your room when I ask. You always help around the house when I need it. You have the divine ability to never harbor jealousy of anyone or anything, which is something your Mother wants to learn from you. You have it down! ;) You are a teacher and an extremely patient one at that. You love video games, Star Wars, Spider man, The Ducks, Costumes, and chocolate. But most of all you love your family unconditionally!! Your really into the idea of making movies and have been asking for a video camera for a while now. You have several ideas for movies and websites you want to create. You are so creative. You have an exceptional sense of humor. That you get from your father. You can laugh at yourself when a situation may be a bit embarrassing. In so many way your are like me. You wear your emotions on your sleeve. You have empathy for others that seems mature well beyond your years. You can be hard on yourself but never hard on others. You love with your whole heart. Now what I want you to know is that you need to give yourself more credit then you do. You will succeed at whatever you really want in life. You WILL make your dreams a reality. I can see this in you even of you don't yet. You will find the exact right person as a partner in your life and you will work hard at that relationship. Should you choose to have children they will be the luckiest people on the planet because you will be their father. You bring me joy each and every day son. Thank you for being a part of me I will always have. I love you!!!

Sly Delegation

A day or two ago I was went to sit down on the sofa and possibly read the paper for 5 minutes while Bodhi and Eli napped. As soon as I sat down I realized now that I was not in constant motion it felt quite chilly in my living room and so as I often do I thought out loud "man it's pretty chilly in here!" Cohen spoke up and said "Wyatt, could you get Mommy a blanket?" Sweet right? and it was sweet, but it was something else. Something smart and tricky and even slightly impressive (OK, I might be easily impressed.) It occurred to me that Cohen had not only been thoughtful about his mother's comfort but he was smart enough to ask Wyatt to do it, essentially doing the good deed, getting the credit and he never even had to lift a finger! If you know my son, you know he has no ill intentions. It's just not in him. But who said being an opportunist is ill intent? I just call it Sly delegation. The fact that I not only picked up on this but am sharing it with you all may mean I need to get out of this house more. I'm to tired, of course, to leave but I probably should just the same.

You're to young for hickies!!!

My five year old had been playing in our play room in the basement when he came running up the stairs yelling in a terrified voice "Mom, what is wrong with my arm? What happened to it?" I looked down to find a giant bright reddish/pinkish mark on his arm and I wont lie. My initial reaction was 'Oh, God, what the hell is that?! That looks horrible and serious!' Just before panicking out loud I noticed that this mark was in perfect proximity to his mouth and in an oval shape. I asked him if he had possible been sucking on his arm. Guilt immediately came over his face but his mouth insisted he had not. After I explained to him that if he had not been sucking on his arm then this mark looked serious enough to illicit a trip to the hospital. So out came the truth. "OK, ok. I lied. I did it. I was just really hungry and my arm was so tasty!!" I don't think he connected the sucking on his arm as the reason he had the self inflicted hickey until I asked him. Why he choice to lie at that point only he knows. He does so love to tell a tall tale on occasion. After explaining this is not good for his skin I don't think he will be doing it again until it's inflicted by a girl in his teen years. ;) Just had to share this gilt ridden photo with you all.